If you were wondering what goes down inside the studio while Horsell Common record, Luke Cripps has decided to give a blow by blow account of a day in the studio.... it's kinda long.So im replying to leigh rather than give you an update on what is going on
Theres are the reasons to reconsider everything Leigh says!
1 His name rhymes with urine
2 he chose the atari lynx over gameboy
3 his preference to donuts is pineapple
4 his preference to chupa chupps is Apple
5 he went and saw the goodies speak about life and the goodies
6 he listens to Cannibal Corpse in public and at home
7 He has young looking arms
8 He has a tattoo that symbolises that amazingly terrible nu metal/rock band hoobastank
9 he wears white socks with black pants and shoes
10 hes girlfriend is more punk rock than he is!
11 his diet consists of take away food even when he cooks at home it is a take away food recipe
12 Pengelly!!! What does that even mean?
13 He used to barrack for Fitzroy and hes favourite player was Bernie Quinlin I mean really Bernie???
14 Leigh has a bad imitation tetris game with musical notes on his phone
15 His car doesn’t have any type of pot purri - no tree, no looney tune character
16 Leigh just mentioned to me to write in that he has no glove box - seriously way to help the cause!
17 Leigh although this is ment to be a hard to take, anger driven message is still happy and giggling.
So even though hes a bad guy for eating meat - hes still alright
Because
- He has Puzzle Bobble on his phone
- He swears after driving on tour to make mention of how tired he is and then follows it up with a nice “time to have a kip”
- He gives cigarettes to people even when he doesn’t want to
- Stewy says “hes friendly” - if he didn’t have a kid he would be seriously getting slayed by heaps of dudes.
- He tells stories better then anyone - which sometimes is better then the actual scenario
- He was a bully for three days and beat up three kids - he got over it and said sorry to them
- Has never stolen anything besides girls hearts
- Hes favourite movie is RoboCop not really but sweet movie
So judging by this There is more to dislike about Leigh than Like. I still like him though. He shouldn’t eat meat though because
- he cant make a gun and a v with his hand with pride
- it makes him puffy
- after he eats meat he is more likely to go to Preston market and buy phat pharm pants.
- He thinks he is a better skater
-and finally
His testicles smell a little more
I cant do His or Hes very well!
UPDATE
Well ive finished my bass tracks it was pretty well much the worst day of my life. On the upside I got some sweet pasta. Leigh has been sitting around doing nothing and Stewy has started slaying his guitar tracks. I have hit the boredom stage so I thought I would kill 5 mins doing this. It has achieved it’s goal. Ya mum!
Be good and love me - because I need more of it. Luke. A considerable mention to Leigh for his important input during reason 16 “ I have no glove box” and Mark for his “really friendly” comment. Has helped this little update heaps. Goodbye and guess what we have been added on myspace by Glen today. Thanks Glen!. Add him because hes got cute dimples and sweet surfer hair. He also likes Radiohead and Pennywise. I think he would rep yiiiiewww a fair bit. Good times, Good Surf, Good gorilla grip, gath helmets and 3 fin thrusters. Carve it up Glenno!
Keep it in the water and on the streets
Torquay Life Saver Group Member 213
Seriously glen whats up with your life!
Peace
Cripps
YIIIIEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWw
Another sweet update
Stewy has just started his guitar tracks for one of our songs called “the sound of breaking records”. Its bit of an alright tune, low key kind of nice song. I havent mentioned we are recording at sing sing records which is pretty well much on Chapel Street. It sucks to be surrounded by ugly people trying to make themselves look good in expensive clothes. Leigh and Stew just ate at Soda Rock and played a bit of Louie, Louie which is always good to eat fries and shakes to. I walked all the way down to Veg Out Time which is amazing vego/indian food. The excitement of the Journey besides seeing an amazing picture of Bert Newton, question is how is he still alive. Hi Brooke miss your non beaten face heaps! Was the discovery of Leigh having the potential to start his own sect. While at a set of lights he refused to stop the walk by a little red man and rose up proudly like an angry HIV lady off Ricki Lake and strolled right pass without a flinch. Not only did this courageous man go alone against this red man. The eight people standing either side of the red man decided to follow their new leader. All hail the new allah sure he is Australian and not a muslim but hey I don’t hear any of those gods defying the red man.
Surrounded by a smiling stewy, a dirty yank and a stollie that is undrinkable I sit here watching knobs and heads being changed. Just play the fucking song. I think I hate my first song it is called the sound of breaking records its made for gay picnics! Here is the lowdown of what are the good and bad parts of our new songs.
New Flesh - The first problem is it is called More Flesh so I got it wrong. Leigh is sitting next to me and we are going to do this together. Nod Leigh if your reading. Yes he is. This is going to be sweet. So More Flesh goes for around 5 mins Yes?? I got Nods. Ummmm well the first riff is your standard horsell nice heavy melodic riffage. I typo rig and leigh wants me to have melodic rig. The rig is sweet. It then drops into some nice soft “portisheadish” verse. Seriously I don’t know who the fuck portishead is but I heard someone say it so ill go with it. It makes us sound as if we listen to really deep and intense music. Are Portishead of that description Leigh? Hmmm hand wavering side to side is saying Kind of or maybe which one? He is just agreeing the dirty mute. So yeah it does that a lot and bang. The chorus comes in. Has a sweet vocal melody and then your like ohhhh that’s the intro riff without any vocals. And your thinking this is the first song of the CD and they are already repeating shit. This is a rip off. Well complain to Haigler!. So it kinda just floats along to the bridge. I personally call this the “2 chord banger” what you think leigh - Yes hes positive nodding gives me back. So I cant figure out the difference between his and he’s while writing. Leigh made me change the last hes to his and then realised what I was writing after it and wants it changed back. Well ( I actually accidently said that allowed) im not going to change it? Leigh did you hear me say Well? Dammit he didn’t Gutted!. So back to the song. Whats next leigh? “ummmmm back to a soft verse into a soft chorus”. He speaks AMAZING!. So this is to give it that emotional feel - not like a taking back Sunday, texas is the reason, farside, get up kids or hawthorne heights emotional feel more of a portishead emotional feel. It bangs out into an outro that’s a bit of an alright one. Heavy, riffy sorry Leigh Riggy , outro that bangs all the way to the end. Out of 10 for the song I give a 10 what you give Leigh he nods 3 times but I think he also means a 10. Yes hes 2nd nod confirms this. Haigler just said Box. Weird Haigler Fact number one ! At the Fish n Chip shop the other day he said “Im going for the Flounder” seriously what is up with that!.
Can we bothered going on to song two or is that enough for now Leigh?? Hmmm hes shrugged shoulders and young hands doesn’t really give me an anser but I think im taking the right assumption in thinking he doesn’t mind if we do another one. The sound of breaking records is still being played by Stewy OVER and OVER again. One More Go Stew good luck buddy. I wrote to Leigh that I had sex with Stewys girlfriend to make him laugh and it did. But I didn’t and I hope stewy nor Ann Marie get upset by this . Or should I just delete it Leigh. He says no I was going to add in after this on the line above that it was just a bit of fun for leigh and I but I have written here instead to stay true to the text. Am I keeping it real leigh? He does not answer he plays a riff off a sound of breaking records to stew. He says yes and is now reading again. Why are you nodding?? Let me read back a bit. Ohhh hihi really a more masculine laugh but I see that the question relates to my realness. Is my realness like Mr T or more like a skinny Michael Moore. Neither as he snorts through his nose. Well song two.
Well seen we are listening to it how about we do the sound of breaking records. I think we should shorten that because I cant be bothered writing the song title ever again. Lets call A…T….We will call it FAB. Which could be taken in many different ways Fabulous , Fabio and im pretty sure there was a washing machine powder called FAB. Something has just been done. Leigh asked me if I liked it. But Im too busy writing about this to care that much. Don’t get me wrong I do but I don’t think what im going to say will have much of a bearing Because normally with the nodded head of the guy on my right is normally a keeper true leigh? Ohhhh what a guy wasn’t even reading. He is now. “Let me catch up was his reply. Ill see how far behind he is. Hes nodding. Another question is is any of this really making any sense? Not really its going to suck if this goes on the blog. I hope it does. This is my new style of writing I have written. Its called Crippsmo Stanzas. I just wanted to use the word stanza so it sounds a little more intellectual but really I know no stanzas have been applied nor will they ever. Pengez has given up! He laughs but I know Pengez and I know he knows him and he knows I know that he knows that I know that he has given up. Seems like I was wrong. His head feels nice on my shoulder. SO the song, Wow we just talked a lot of shit.
A bit of click track. Fuck up stoltx as if you know shit (really I love him). Haigler is showing a green pedal its like its fucking show and tell in here. 9 VOLTS , 9 Volts. Fuck we have just been given the task of getting 9 volt batteries. Seriosuly I say on behalf of both of us we are shattered. YES and A big Nod from Pengez follows.
So we seriously had 4 pages but my computer is a piece of absolute shit and we lost everything. You know I was in trouble from the moment I got this laptop it doesn’t have Microsoft word it has works this computer is something that Pengez would own.
Im not going to re write evertything we have just lost I will just a little… I have forgotten what they are called. You know the thing where it kind of keeps you up to date. Is it a summary im not sure if that’s the word im looking for but I will with that for now.
Leigh and I went to get the batteries. We encounterd
- A live dictionary description of the word “scurry” . We saw a guy scurry across the road, it was almost rodent like.
- While in the supermarket we decided to check the internet to see if anything new or exciting has happened. Leigh checked his myspace www.myspace.com/pengaz nothing was interesting going on there. He then went and found some site that has all the old Nintendo and sega games. He settled with Altered Beast which turned out to be a delight. He was a bit peckish after this and decided to buy some toobs that raised his popularity in the control room as everyone dived for his chips. Are toobs chips? We also discussed how odd it was for him to buy a drink Apple/Raspberry Quench. Even still thinking about it I find it very odd for him to continually purchase odd odd shit. We then realised that it was made in Thomastown which is our side of the hood. In the slades factory. We discussed how much better slades drinks were better then golden meadow drinks. We associated Gold Medow drinks as a sign of the poor. There Cola the prime example cheap and tacky like Coles and Safeway Cola. No one should ever venture there.
Stewy called Bono a Cunt I thought this was rude but he said to be honest and not to censor the potential blog. He was pushing on my stomach when screaming don’t sensor me. It was then said by Leigh how he doesn’t like being ruffend up in a fun way that had a realist undertone. I don’t mind it so much although on this occasion I did find it very uncomfortable.
General consensus that this was all that had happened although I do feel we missed some important information.
Stacy Gray the guy from Tk who is pretty well much the nicess honest and generally good natured guy arrive in the studio. This was when the computer crashed and we lost everything we wrote. Stoltz yesterday said how much he looks like sean penn. In my mind I went through potential faces of Sean Penn and then bang I had a footy show football look likes of sean penn and stacy gray are pretyy well much the same person.
Leigh and I for the last week have been writing mock indie rock songs as a joke . He is playing his newest addition to the set. Im going to tell him I like it although I think we have written better knowing that he will read this and realise what I really think of his new riff. He laughs and agrees with what im saying. The new one though is pretty fucking good.
I will read what I wrote about stacy to him to see if likes it, He genuinely laughed in his good natured tone. it’s a good time. Leigh suggests I wipe the spit off the computer screen that landed there when I was telling stacy about what I wrote about him. I don’t and also see my saliva on my middle knuckle glistening through the light behind me. Leigh is playing new indie rock riffs he seems pretty happy with himself. Yeah I think he is as he keeps looking at the screen to see what I have written about it. Its good man you can stop im getting a headache. He laughs and thankfully stops. I think hes about to start again. Im shattered. Stoltz is on the phone asking for passwords because something happened. “steifel my creativity” is what leigh just said as stewy yells at leigh for playing his oddly coloured green guitar. He comes over cause he knows that I just wrote about it. Im expecting him to giggle but leigh bet him to it. Thanks Leigh. Stewy Mr Fucking Grammar King just told me to fix up the spelling of bet. Im honestly typing as fast as I can to keep up with the goings on of the day and he still isn’t satisfied. Unlike the fart he just unleashed on Leighs leg. He was pretty well impressed with this and has got up and walked away. Now hes back and sitting in the chair spinning around. He comes back over to see what im writing. Nothing really exciting is taking place now and I understand the reader will be completely bored. Stoltz is kicking us out . His a big baby,. He told us to go have a dart. We will be back soon. Sorry stoltz.
